最近刚好看到一个二代中国移民的发帖，里面就很好地讲了自己的困惑：自己明明是新加坡人，可是自己的名字和普通话却让别人认为自己是中国来的，所以只敢在外面说singlish或者英文，甚至喊出了Seriously, how many pink ICs must I hold, how many tuition classes do I need to send my future kids for, and how many plates of chicken rice must I eat before such people deem me worthy of passing through the golden gates that would mark me as "a true Singaporean"?
There was once an old lady sat next to me on the train after school. She started talking to me in Mandarin, with me only nodding my head in response (I was pretty tired from a long day at school). It started off nice enough, with her talking about how things have changed. Then, with a loud, accusatory tone, she said, "这些外国人啊，把我们的工作和房子都偷走了。尤其是那些中国人。" I wasn't surprised by her sentiments. I just nodded back in silence - not in agreement, but in resignation.
I see comments online accusing the government of 'buying' "foreign talents" like they're commodities to be traded and not actual people. "Send them back," some say, like these "foreign talents" are defective goods which the government have wasted money on and should demand a refund for. How I wish money was actually so easily and nonchalantly thrown at my family by the government as these people presume it is. Decades ago, during the engineering boom in Singapore, my father was scouted to be one of these said "foreign talents". My parents left their previous jobs, their families, even their language and culture to come here; my mother told me about how she packed along a huge Chinese-English dictionary because she was afraid my father wasn't good enough for Singapore. We never made big money from the government or anything like that. My parents just came here looking for a better life, as did many other people all those years ago.
We're essentially a nation of immigrants, whereby the only possible distinction lies in how far back we draw our family histories. However, during introductions, I still hesitate to tell others my name. When ordering food at hawker centres, I always speak in fluent English/Singlish to the auntie or uncle at the stall, because my accent would betray me if I were to speak in Mandarin. Heck, I was born in Singapore, lived here all my life, went through PSLE, 'O' Levels, 'A' Levels and all that fun jazz. Having been drilled every morning at school since young, I can recite the national pledge word for word, sing "Majulah Singapura" note for note, and have no idea how my supposed home country's equivalent sounds like; I say "supposed" because the only home country I am willing to identify with is Singapore. Yet all that seems to be of less importance when others see or hear my name, or any name of a similar structure to mine. "You from China ah? Your family from China is it?" I dread the times when I hear those questions, because in my mind's eye, I can see the other party turning up their nose and narrowing their eyes ever so slightly at this 'outsider' in their midst, contaminating what they deem the 'pure' social fabric of Singapore. This is obviously just my paranoia speaking, however sometimes I can't help but feel like these fears may unfortunately hold the tiniest bit of truth, especially when I come across certain unpleasant individuals who brandish the title of "true blue Singaporean" in the faces of those they deem unworthy. Seriously, how many pink ICs must I hold, how many tuition classes do I need to send my future kids for, and how many plates of chicken rice must I eat before such people deem me worthy of passing through the golden gates that would mark me as "a true Singaporean"?
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