Anybody who can help my mum, pls?!Hi, all
I guess I need to consult something.

My mum always complain about her dad. She spends
almost half of the phone time complaining that every
time I phone her.

Her dad is arbitrary, dictate, and talks wild without
proper manner to his daughter.

He has always been very dominant in that family. He
made most of the decisions, but he used to consider
others' interest when making them. But as he gets
older, he could not make them right. A man in his
seventieth, being retired and quite isolated from most
of the society, simply could made a lot of mistakes,
but he, forever, thinks himself is right before his
children.

To describe some detailed happening to make it more
vivid:

My mum went to look after him days ago, but all her
activities are decided by her dad. She had to wake up
on 7am, went to bed at 8pm, and eat at certain time
too. She had to accompany her dad watching TV, but the
program is 'xi4 qu3', which my mum did not enjoy at
all. My mum could not turn on the light at dark,
because her dad consider it as a 'waste of
electricity'. It might be right according to the
situation before he retired, but definitely not for
now.

My mum cooked for him, and he said it was bad tasting
every time.

He was a very successful manager, and did big big
business; he used to command, and was famous for
considering others when commanding. My mum used to
follow, too. But now, he is still considering others
when decisioning, but what resides in his mind is
damned wrong, or absurdly out dated, but nobody could
persuade him.

He has several powerful children, but nobody could
change him. My mum is the lease powerful one, and
seems hopeless at it. But seeing her so miserable, I
just think somewhat and ask your opinion, in case
there is some way would help.


[Transhumanist (11-13 1:19, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]1楼

But she can not stop visiting sinceshe wanna see and gotta see every time, but is turned down every time.
fi not, her mum will be mad at least.[Transhumanist (11-13 1:26, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]2楼

do not u know it is a waste of electricityThis year this turns to be true..
do not you know?[xscheme (11-13 2:28, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]3楼

The better way ishi, friend,

it is really hard to change an old man who own a strong will unless he want change himself.

so why not talk to him what you think about him and let him decide whether he should make a change.

otherwise, you have to listen to your mother's complain which will relieve her suffering.

[bigmouth (11-13 9:47, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]4楼

i think the most important thing is...to ptotect herself well.

as others had said, it is impossible to change an old man's mind. but our mind can change to adapt the situation.

do u know this story:
it is very difficult to cover the whole surface of the earth to protect our feet from being cut by sticks and stones. but by covering only the surface of our feet with leather it is as if the whole surface of the earth were covered with leather.

i think these words are very enlightening.

we know the situation and we know we cannot change it. so why not accept it and protect ourself well? anyway, he is her dad. she must take care of him.

therfore, the best way i think is protecting herself well. let her dad be himself and let her be herself.

[蛐蛐 (11-13 10:53, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]5楼