.....isn't a combination u see much of in China. While western men often date Chinese girls, it's quite rare to see western women with Chinese men. Why? Well, I actually don't know (who does?!) for sure, but I can only guess that it has something to do with one, or many, of the following reasons:
1. Western girls are taller/ have got 'bigger bones' than most Chinese men, and often look/are bigger than Chi men. A girl doesn't want to feel 'bigger' than her men and a man doesn't want to feel smaller than his woman...
2. Culture differences: many western women are quite independent and used to sharing the house chores with their men. In many Chinese cities, the woman is expected (regardless if she has a full time job or not) to take care of the household, make dinner, and so on, with no additional help from the man (except for if she lives in Shanghai! The Shanghai men are apparently real house helpers). I find it hard to imagine a western woman settling for this when she's been brought up in a completely different society. At least I know I wouldn't.
3. Language barrier (needs no further explanation)
4. Lack of mutual attraction?!
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When I first moved to China I caught myself thinking that 'I will never find an Asian man attractive... they are just not my style....' But then, something happened?! I don't know if my eyes needed time to adjust to the different scene or what... but suddenly I started to see attractive Asian men on the streets (Chinese, Korean, Japanese...)
I think it might have something to do with the fact that you first come, and think that everyone looks the same (this goes both ways: many Chinese have told me that they think all western people look the same) and then it takes a while for your eyes to adjust and actually distinct people? Anyways, that's how I felt it was. After something like 8months-1 year I started seeing a lot of attractive Asian men, and the funny thing is, that when I pointed them out to western friends who had just come here/who was here for a visit, they just looked at me and frowned.
Maybe the eye needs some time to get used to things? I don't know what other way to explain it... Nowadays I can think that many Asian men are attractive. When me and one of my girlfriends travelled to Seoul in Jan this year we were both quite amazed how good the guys looked, how well they dressed, and so on. (Although, to me, simlpy being attracted isn't enough to start dating. There obviously needs to be a personality click as well)
In general, I think Chinese men are more feminine than Western men. A classic example is the 'man bag' that became trendy some years ago... In China a man bag seem to be able to look like a woman's handbag and still be OK for a man to carry around??! (and then there are of course Chinese men carrying around their woman's hand bags... so those shouldn't be mixed up!). Try getting a western man to do that = instant failure.
Also, Chinese men can go and have a manicure, something that I think I'd have to violently force on my western bf, if I wanted him to get one (I don't, however!). I also think that Chinese men in general wear tighter clothes and more bright colours than western men .. I don't know, many of them just feel 'more in touch with their feminine side' than western men (I guess I should mention that I moved from Finland to China, and Finland being the most masculine country I have ever lived in -not in a good way!!!) I also get this feeling that Chinese men are a bit more sensitive than western men. I mean, have u ever heard a western man humming along (loudly) to 'My heart will go on' on the streets!?
So, could I date a Chinese man (IF I was single)?! I don't know. I think my main concern would be the culture differences. I think that a Chinese man
would find me very bold, opinionated and obstinate, and I am not sure how he would deal with that? (gosh, I like to put myself in a bright light, don't I?! But I have strong opinions! I could never hide them). Also, I love doing sports?! Meaning: I love sweating. Not considered very feminine in China?
Actually, I don't see myself as being as 'girly girly' as Chinese girls. I like to wear pretty dresses and high heels, but I don't expect present from my bf if he goes travelling, I don't expect my bf to pay for everything (I like to be able to pay for myself!) when we go out, and I would never act like a spoilt child (I think this is called 'sa jiao' in Chinese?! I don't remember the characters for it...) to get what I want. Would this be considered strange to a Chi man, or would he actually appreciate it?
I would looooove to hear from a western girl who has personal experience from dating a Chinese guy... Or, a Chinese guy who's been dating a western woman. Maybe all the above reasons I have written down are wrong? Maybe some makes sense? Maybe there are plenty if other reasons that I have forgotten? What do you guys think? Please share!!!
